Monday, November 16, 2009

Vehla Time

It's been a while since I got down to writing something. Have been so busy with son-shine that all my fans out there must be missing me mad. Well, to oblige all of you, I am back! Now, what do I write about? Should it be something funny, or serious? Some anecdote or maybe a work of fiction?

What about my "Digos"???? Well maybe its my greying hair that has made me mature enough so that I don't pull anymore "Digos" or the sheer fact that Hub-e refuses to take me out to his office parties. That reminds me, we did go out for a weekend visit with Hub-e and his office team. But on the very strict condition that I aint allowed to open my mouth except for eating. Can't even share with you how restrained I was. Every time I saw someone, my tongue started rolling, my palms got sweaty and my head spinned like crazy, but believe me, my lips were sealed. All signs of ageing! 

Joined back office a couple of months back. Hmmmm ..... feeling so out of place! No one to shower my maternal instincts on. And it doesnt help being the youngest in the department. You are pampered crazy. So much so, I sometimes forget that I am a mother now.

I know I know, those of you who had the patience to reach upto this para are wondering whats happened to this woman! Where are the jokes? Where is the humour? But guys, "itna haq to banta hai"! I have entertained you well enough with my posts. Now you have to bear with my ranting also. And all of you who say that you like this post of mine, there is a secret gift coming your way very soon. My idea of rewarding my loyal fans. And those of you who write nice comments for me, hmmmmmmm , free electricity for a year (*courtesy NTPC*)

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The Latest "Digo"

On Popular Demand! (It seems the "Digos" that I pull are a huge favorite with my fans ... he he he)

Disclaimer :  Have taken permission from the person affected and have been granted the same by her. A largehearted lady, very beautiful and talented. She is perfection personified. (All this so that she won't sue me). Also, I have been given the permission to add mirch masala and spice it up. 

I am very close to my in-laws. And not just Achhan Amma, but all uncles, aunties, cousins, nieces, nephews... everybody. My dearest sis-in-law, DM (M for Menon), works for an English News Channel. Anyways, I am not going to tell you the name of the channel. By the way, did you know that Times Now was the No.1 Channel in some Fuber ratings.(he he he) Also, I really enjoy it when Arnab Goswami of Times Now grills politicians. He has so much passion. (No lawsuits please)

Okay! Coming back to the story. DM couldn't come to Delhi to meet her dear nephew because she was busy with her work in that "unnamed" English News Channel. She is a great reporter and the Mumbai Bureau head. Her boss, AG (I won't even give you a hint of who AG is!), was not giving her any leaves to meet the new born. 

Yours truly really wanted to meet DM. I asked her the reason and the naughty she told me that AG is loading her with too much work. (I know AG wouldn't be doing anything like this). This infuriated me. I called her up and asked for AG's contact. DM thought I am a harmless insect and won't do anything crazy and with complete trust in that, she gave me AG's phone number. The conversation goes like this.

AG: Hello!

Me: Hello!

AG: Hello!

Me: Hello!

AG: Hello!

Me: How many more Hellos??? Am I speaking with AG of the "unnamed" News Channel.

AG: Yessssssss ......... this is AG. Are you Renuka Choudhary?

Me: No No ....... I am the "aam junta" of this country and have some questions for you.

AG: Oh! Do you wish to feature in our Question Hour or wish to be the Citizen Journalist???

Me: Oh dear Lord, No! I just wanted to know when DM gets to go on leave?

AG (fumbles for words)DM does a great job and I am very proud of her, as a reporter, bureau chief and senior desk person.

Me: That's nice to know. But when does she get her leaves?

AG: See, I already told you. She is a valuable asset and I am not going to fire her.

Me: Fire her????? OMIGOSH! your channel is the best in the country and I love the way you speak and not let others speak. Also love the way you ask questions without waiting for an answer. Please do not fire DM.

AG: Hmmmm ...................

Me: Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello!......................

There is a network problem and the connection gets lost!

DM has been circulating her resume for sometime now. AG has changed his number. And Hub-e isn't talking to me these days.

Moral of the story: Don't pull a "Digo" with bosses.

(Waiting to get Shantanu Narayan's number. he he he)

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

How could I?

This is going to be one of the shortest posts I have ever written. Yesterday Mom was telling me how I was as a kid and I realised, I had pulled a Digo even when I was in class III.  My parents were very insistent that I should learn malayalam and be aware of Kerala culture. Hence, I was sent to Kerala School. 

When I was in III standard, my Malayalam teacher, for no apparent reason, one day, asked me, "Molude Acchanum Ammayum evideya joli cheyunnathu?". (Where do your Achhan Amma work?)

I replied, "Enikkum Achhanum Ammayum illya" (I do not have Achhan Amma)

My poor teacher. She was overcome with sympathy, love, pity and everything bundled together. She had moist eyes and hugged me tight. She gave me a very sweet kiss on my cheek. I do not know what happened to me then. I also started crying. Seeing this, she got all the more emotional. She took me in her lap, hugged me, kissed me and took out a candy from her Big purse. 

I was really happy about the bonanza and looked at my classmates, who were evidently getting jealous about the partial treatment being given to me by one of the most feared teachers. When I stopped crying, she innoccently asked me, "Molu aarude koodeya taamasikkunathu?" (Who do you stay with then?")

I replied, "Mummy and Papa"!!!!!!

... I am sure you guys donot wanna know what happened next nor am I going to tell you. Some things are best left untold!

PS: In malayalam, Amma means mother and Achhan means father.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Pulling a "Digo"

Met Hub-e's colleague and wife at Great India Place last weekend. Their question bowled me clean. "Why don't you ever come to any office parties???" And I asked myself, Why? Why doesn't Hub-e take me along to any of the parties lately? Well, not coz I aint pretty, Mind It!!! I am a very beautiful woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he he he ..... But coz he is scared that I will pull a "Digo" if I go. For those of you who donot understand this word, let me tell you that this is a very important part of our vocabulary. So, how do I manage to pull a "Digo"?

Incident 1 : Hub-e's manager in MS was a great guy from IIT named Digambarnath and in our conversations at home, Hub-e would address him as "Digo" only. So, we met at a wedding party and poor Digo......

Me: Hi Digo!!! How are you?

Digo(with a surprised look) : Hmmmm .... Ummmmm ...  aaaahhhhh ...... uuuuummmm ....Ffffffine

Hub-e and others : Ummmmmmm ........ (with eyes wide open)

Me: So, Digo, hows your wife? You didnt bring her along?

Digo(with a surprised look) : Hmmmm .... Ummmmm ...  aaaahhhhh ...... uuuuummmm .... She has gone to our home town

Hub-e and others : Ummmmmmm ........ (with eyes wide open)

Me: Digo,do you like biriyani??? 

Digo(with a surprised look) : Hmmmm .... Ummmmm ...  aaaahhhhh ...... uuuuummmm ....Yes

Hub-e and others : Ummmmmmm ........ (with eyes wide open)

Me: So, Digo, what do you think is the reason for MS stocks going down???

Digo(with a surprised look) : Hmmmm .... Ummmmm ...  aaaahhhhh ...... uuuuummmm .... Iiiiiii don't know for sure......... ummmmmmmmmmmm

Hub-e and others slowly moved away.

Within seconds, Digo also moved away! 

Moral of the story: Nobody in his entire life had ever called Digambarnath as "Digo". And nobody ever did, after me, not even Hub-e in our daily conversations. Hub-e had to change his job. (Though not for this reason, what the heck!!! Fiction is better than truth)

Incident 2: We have a very cute looking Pug in our apartments, named "Tipu". He is not such a great friend of Spock yet, his owner and Hub-e are very pally pally. Again, what to do with my Hub-e. He insists on giving second names to all the people he meets. Hence, the owner's name became Hyder Ali in our daily conversation. And poor me, got so used to his second name, that I forgot his real one. (see, again, it isn't my fault, hub-e is responsible for it)

Mrs. Owner: Hi! How are you? How is Spock?

Me: Hi. Am doing great. Spock is fine too! Where is Tipu?

Mrs. Owner: Oh he is at home with my daughter.

Me: Okay. So, Hyder Ali hasn't come home yet?

Mrs. Owner (eyes looking like laddoos) : I beg your pardon?

Me: I meant, hasn't Hyder come back from office?

(Hub-e gives me a hard kick on my ankle and Mrs. Owner looks at him with bewildered eyes, silently questioning whether I have lost it coz of my pregnancy)

Hub-e: Hey, nice meeting you! Have to rush back home. Urgent meeting. B'bye

Me still havent figured it out ......... but eventually I did. Hence, I again pulled a "Digo".

There are so many more of such instances but I guess the writing space isn't enough. 

For the next party, he has agreed to take me along, only if I promise that I wouldn't pull a Digo! Well, can't promise anything ........

(Disclaimer: All events, names and characters mentioned above are true to my knowledge and bear resemblance to people who are still living and after my blood.)

(Another Disclaimer (on gun's point) : Hub-e doesnt have the habit of giving "second" names to people. It is just his creative juices flowing and his good sense of humour. And we all are stupids!)

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Parents...

This post was long due. But before I proceed, wish to share with you that we have been blessed with a Cute Son-shine and we havent named him Meghnaad. Hub-e hasnt forgiven me still but I am sure that Agneya will make him understand.

There comes a time when your life takes a complete circle. Today, when I have become a parent myself, I can truly appreciate mine. Honestly, being an only kid, my parents indulged me alot and I am not talking about money or material pleasures only.I dont remember even once when I had to enter the kitchen or buy groceries from outside or do any kind of household work. In fact, even today, when my parents visit us, my dad makes it a point to iron my clothes and mom won't let me enter the kitchen. 

My parents were born and brought up in Kerala, in middle class families, having 5 to 6 siblings each. Money wasn't easy and neither were the facilities. They had to slog through, taking care of their younger siblings, doing household chores, taking tuition classes and so on. In fact, my mother tells me that she started doing household work when she was the age of 7 and till now, she hasnt had any rest. 

To earn a livelihood and to support their families, both of them left their birthland and came to Delhi in search of more opportunities. And once they stabilised, they brought their other siblings along, for a better life for everyone. Theirs was an arranged match and they started their life together in 1979.

Starting from a very modest one room flat, where-in they had to share the toilet/ bathroom and where their siblings also stayed with them, one after the other, today, I am truly proud of what they have achieved. They have their own house in a reasonably good locality in Delhi and have all the facilities that money can buy. 

But more importantly, they have raised me to be a very responsible individual. I have seen how they have struggled to satisfy my demands and wishes. How every year, they would celebrate my birthday with great gusto and leave no stone unturned, even if it meant not taking the bus/auto and walking instead. How they wanted to get promoted in office so that they could get more salary and with that buy better things for me. I am proud of them for doing their post graduation in their late 40's and achieving good results.

My mom still tells me how they couldnt manage to have a second child, since they wanted me to get the best. There are so many instances of their selflessness and going through rough weather so that I could always have a cosy umbrella on my head. When I look back, I have no regrets in life and I had the happiest childhood, with my 2 friends, who also happen to be my parents.

Today, when I see Dad running around to get things working for my new family and Mom doing office work as well as keeping awake the entire night with my son, I realise one thing, they are never going to stop being parents. They would always go out of their way for me and my dear ones. There is no retirement from this job of theirs.

I only wish I am half as good as them. And I know it in my heart, that I am always gonna be the Second Best in parenting.

Love You Mom and Dad!!!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Ghajini - A Review

First and foremost, let me commend the producer/director for naming the movie after the villain. I was pleasantly surprised to know that "Ghajini" is the name of the villain. Just Imagine, if "Mr. India" were to be named as "Mogambo Khush Hua", or "Sholay" were to be "Gabbar Singh" .... Hmmmmm ...... finally, a tribute to the wonderful villains of Bollywood.

Story was new (though copied from Hollywood) on the Indian screen. Good acting from most of the actors and a little bit overacting from Asin, my hub-e's junior in school. He claims that she was always good at dancing and extracurricular activities from school itself. Anyways, I do feel that Rajeev Masand was paid heavily to give this movie a very good review.

Hub-e was real happy to finally see a Tamil movie and I was happy that I could finally understand a Tamil movie which had Hindi dialogues and Bollywood actors. For those of you, who haven't understood my diatribe, I am talking about the stunt scenes in this movie. If you watch carefully, all fight sequences are a la Tamil movies. The way the goons fly in the air, the manner in which by one blow the hero is able to vanquish so many and so on, so forth. It was real fun watch and I couldn't help but burst out laughing.

The end was so predictable and Jiah Khan was totally wasted. In fact, I found her presence in the movie very irritating. The grunts and growls of Amir Khan were real funny. Even though I tried hard, I couldn't sympathise with the poor guy.

Well, all said and done, I wasted my sleep last night to watch this laugh riot and when I embarked on professing my views on this, I understood that Masand had actually brainwashed people into thinking that this is a good movie.

From Smita Menon ..... Watch this movie at your own Risk!